The Last Time
by KitSnicketTodd
Summary: SnapeLily oneshot. A memory that Harry never got to see, Snape's last time seeing Lily. A bit on the mushy side, but hey, I'm a hopeless romantic!


Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Severus Snape and Lily Potter belong to J.K. Rowling, as do Hagrid, James, Sirius, Godric's Hollow, hippogriffs, and everything else. : )

The rating is only because Snape dies : ( and I don't know if death counts as an adult theme, but I figured it was better to overestimate the rating than underestimate it.

The Last Time

Lily was surprised when the doorbell rang. She wasn't expecting anybody. James had had to go and see Sirius, but she had had some jobs to do around the house. Now she had finished her work and was relaxing on the sofa. She'd been very tired lately.

Reluctantly she got up and padded to the door in the hippogriff shaped slippers Hagrid had knitted her for Christmas last year, picking up her wand on the way. One couldn't be too careful in these dark times. She was only glad she and James hadn't had to resort to a Fidelius charm yet.

Opening the door, she couldn't help but gasp. She hadn't thought she'd ever see him again after she married James, but now he stood in front of her, nervous and fidgeting, smiling shyly.

"Sev," she breathed at last. He stepped forward tentatively.

"It's... good to see you," he said. His small smile wavered as she stepped backwards and frowned.

"What are you doing here?" He shrugged.

"I just had to see you." He looked so hopeful and vulnerable that Lily sighed and stepped aside.

"I suppose you'd better come in," she said. As he stepped forward eagerly, she reached out a hand and placed it on his chest, stopping him. They looked at each other for a moment, him breathing faster, her hardly daring to breathe at all. She cleared her throat.

"You must leave your wand here," she said, drawing her hand from his chest and gesturing to a small table near the door. She watched as he placed his wand down, then led him into the living room. They sat down awkwardly at opposite ends of the sofa. After a moment of silence, they both spoke at once.

"Would you-"

"Lily, I-"

They both stopped. Severus smiled again. "You first."

"I was just going to offer you a butterbeer, or some pumpkin juice. And I think we have some Firewhisky somewhere-"

"No. No, thank you. I just... I'd just like to talk, if that's alright." Lily nodded.

"Yes, of course. Not that I can see that we really have anything to talk about." Severus moved toward her on the sofa earnestly.

"We have everything to talk about!" he exclaimed. "Lily, I regret what happened that day at Hogwarts more than I can say. It was the biggest mistake I've ever made, and I can't forgive myself."

"So you want me to forgive you? Oh, Sev. Seriously. What _are_ you doing here?"

"What are _you_ doing here?" he shot back, grabbing her hand. "Married to man you used to hate. You can't love him. Emotions can't change that drastically in such a short time." She snatched her hand away.

"Emotions can change that drastically in the time it takes to speak one word, Severus. I would have thought you'd know that." He flinched as though her words had physically stung him.

"You don't hate me, Lily," he whispered. "You don't... do you?" His eyes were filled with tears. In their many evenings at Hogwarts and at each other's houses talking about his family, Lily had seen Severus cry before, but the heartbreaking pain that was so visible on his face brought tears to her eyes, too.

"No... No, Sev, don't cry. I don't hate you. You just hurt me really badly. You chose You Know Who over me. Do you have any idea how awful that was?" She let him take her hand again as they wept together, and he pulled her to him and held her for a few moments. Eventually, she pulled away, wiping her eyes.

"James will be home soon. He was only going to visit Sirius."

"Lily, please come with me." She looked at him, shocked.

"W-what?" He took both her hands, his eyes glowing, his smile imploring.

"Come with me, Lily. You can't be happy here, with... him. We can get away from the Dark Lord, run away to another country. We could be together always. Please, Lily?" She looked at him for a second, then grabbed his face with her hands and kissed him fiercely. It seemed to last a lifetime, and when she let him go, he was smiling deliriously.

"Is that a yes?" he asked, brushing her hair from her eyes gently. She looked down at her hands.

"No."

"What?"

"No. I can't leave. I can't leave James, I can't leave the Order. I know you don't understand what I have with James, but I can't just leave him. He's in love with me."

"So am I!"

"Listen, Sev. That night, after you called me... well, you know... James comforted me. I do love him. I love him so much as a friend and I can't hurt him. He's my husband." She raised her left hand to show Severus her ring. "I made a vow, and I can't break it. I – I love you, Sev, but we were never meant to be."

"You're wrong! Of course we were. We are! We love each other."

"Love isn't always enough, Sev. I'm sorry."

"Just tell me this. If it hadn't been for that day, that time when I called you that word, would you have thought we were meant to be?"

"I can't answer that. It's impossible to know that, but-"

"But?"

"Maybe." She looked up at him, tears glistening in her eyes.

"Have I ever told you that you have beautiful eyes, Lily?" She looked confused at this sudden change of subject.

"I don't think so." He stood up and walked out of the living room to the front door, picking up his wand.

"Well, you do," he said simply. "I've always thought so. Goodbye, Lily." She smiled through her tears.

"Goodbye, Sev." She pulled him to her for a last kiss, and this one was less fervid than the last, there was more than a hint of sadness about it. She ran her hands through his hair. He pulled away from her and walked out of the door almost in a daze, touching his hair where she had touched it.

"I love you!" she called after him, her voice cracking. She thought he hadn't heard her, but the last smile Severus Snape's lips would ever form spread across his face as he walked away from her for the final time.

As Professor Snape lay dying, spilling his memories and secrets to his least favourite pupil in all his years of teaching, he tried to maintain some control. There were some memories too precious to share with anyone. His last time seeing Lily was one of them. The first and last time they had kissed, close though they'd often come at Hogwarts. Childish nerves had always got the better of them then, but that day in Godric's Hollow, there had been a sense of urgency they'd never felt before. It was as if they had known death would part them soon, even though Snape hadn't known about the prophecy yet.

"Come on, Sev!" He looked up, surprised. He could see Lily before him, Lily's eyes, Lily's perfect eyes. "Come on, Sev. I've been waiting for you for ages and I'm getting impatient." She grinned. He got up with surprisingly little effort and grinned back. "Coming," he said. Coming back to Lily, back to being Sev, not Snape, back to happiness with her. He stared into those green eyes and stepped into his new life with Lily by his side.

AN: Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Reviews would of course be welcome.


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